Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.
Q: How do you make a witch stew?
A: Keep her waiting for hours.
Q: How do ghosts begin their letters?
A: “Tomb it may concern…”
Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed.
Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person’s Corn Flakes?
A: A cereal killer
Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite ride?
A: A roller ghoster.
Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in.
Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sleeping Beauty?
A: Tired blood.
Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up.
Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A: A dead end.
Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying?
A: You can see right through him.
Q: How is a werewolf like a computer?
A: They both have megabytes.
Q: Where do vampires live?
A: At the Vampire State Building.
Q: Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
A: They’re afraid of flying off the handle.
Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Lake Erie.
Q: How can you tell when a window is scared?
A: They get shudders.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.
Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.
Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
Q: What tops off a ghost’s sundae?
A: Whipped Scream
Q: What has a black hat, flies on a broomstick, and can’t see anything?
A: A witch with her eyes closed.
Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he’s always a goblin.
Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
A: He’s mist.
Q: What sailor like to be chilled to the bone?
A: A skeleton crew.
Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
A: In the casketeria.
Q: Where did the goblin throw the football?
A: Over the ghoul line.
Q: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A: Toasty ghosty.
Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: Hoblin Goblin.
Q: What do you call a wicked witch who lives by the sea?
A: A Sand-witch
Q: What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?
A: A boo-loney sandwich.
Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
A: A wash-and-werewolf.
Q: What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Fasten your sheet belt.
Q: Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: What is a vampires favourite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel.
Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound.
Q: What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Q: What do you call serious rocks?
A: Grave stones.
Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
A: By witchful thinking.
Q: Why did the witch’s mail rattle?
A: It was a chain letter.
Q: Why did the vampire’s lunch give her heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.
Q: What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house?
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin
This image was originally posted to Flickr by D’Arcy Norman at http://www.flickr.com/photos/dnorman/1536872/. It was reviewed on 4 December 2006 by the FlickreviewR robot and confirmed to be licensed under the terms of the cc-by-2.0.