A Silly Saturday – Seven Ages of a Married Cold by Alan Smith 

Today’s bit of humor first appeared in The Saturday Evening Post a number of years ago. It reveals a sequence of actions where a husband reacts to his wife’s colds during seven years of marriage.

1st year cold: The husband said, “Sugar dumpling! I’m really worried about my baby girl! You’ve got a bad sniffle and there’s no telling about these things with all the strep going around. I’m putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I’ll be bringing you food from Tosini’s. I’ve already got it all arranged with the floor superintendent.”

2nd year cold: “Listen, darling! I don’t like the sound of that cough! I’ve called Dr. Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good little girl just for Poppa.”

3rd year cold: “Maybe you better lie down, Honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I’ll bring you something. Do you have any canned soup?”

Things do change over the years!

4th year cold: “Now look dear, be sensible! After you’ve fed the kids, washed the dishes and finished vacuuming, you’d better lie down.”

5th year cold: “Why don’t you take a couple of aspirin?”

6th year cold: “If you’d just gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a seal!”

7th year cold: “For Pete’s sake, stop sneezing! Are you trying to give me pneumonia!?”

Things do change over the years, don’t they? May I encourage those of you who are married to do something special for your spouse as you begin the new year. Write a sweet note or buy a card. Pick up some flowers or a small gift. (Yes, I know, be prepared for a response like, “What did you do now, wreck the car?”) Just make a conscious effort not to take one another for granted. And do it more than just this next week. Pencil it in and make it habit.

Those of you who aren’t married, sorry, I have no words of wisdom for you today. But, print this out and save it. Who knows when it may come in handy! 🙂

“You husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her.” (Ephesians 5:25 NLT)

“… train the younger women to love their husbands …” (Titus 2:4)
“Seven Ages of a Married Cold” by Alan Smith is licensed under a Creative Commons License. Heartlight encourages you to share this material with others in church bulletins, personal emails and other non-commercial uses.

About the Author  Alan Smith ministers with the Church of Christ in White House, Tennessee and publishes the email devotional “Thought for the Day.”


[Funny Times is a humor magazine with cartoons and columnists that make you laugh, moan, scream and cry. They are kind enough to allow me to reprint the occasional cartoon.  Of course, humor — like beauty — is often in the eye or ear of the beholder.  http://www.funnytimes.com]


About Paul Wharton

I am a cradle Catholic, a native West Virginian, and a priest since April 24, 1982. Spiritual Direction has made a tremendous difference in my life and I encourage people to try it out. My motto is "Progress not perfection." I am grateful that God has done for me what I could not do for myself.
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2 Responses to A Silly Saturday – Seven Ages of a Married Cold by Alan Smith 

  1. Denise says:

    Thank you for the words of wisdom. Very good advice, regardless of how you feel about your spouse each week! Morgan and I learned early on, thanks to many wonderful mentors, to work at our marriage and realtionship, always and forever, particularly when we did not want to. I was in such a habit of continually searching for “how to be a better wife,” that I find I still am drawn to advice for married couples. Notice that I did not say, I searched for how to change my husband. I learned a long time ago, that if I learn the Biblical standards for a wife, and practice them, my husband will respond, and we will both be changed. It was not easy, but we both grew. That is the only explanation that I have for our peaceful co-existence. Married couples can find so much free inspiration, and instruction from “The Hour of Holiness”, and “Focus on the Family” podcasts on Itunes, just to name a few. If they don’t have interneet access, they can tune into the radio Christian broadcasts, where I first heard the messages. And one should never think “I don’t need to hear this.” That is a clear sign that you do. Today, and when we see a couple together, let’s pray for the institution of marriage, and for that couple.

  2. Linda Higgs says:

    Thank you for the humorous posting about marriage. Our 32nd wedding anniversary will be coming up soon – we both find that humor helps a lot!

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