Silly Saturday: Irish Humor on Saint Patrick’s Day

Walking into the pub, Patick said to the bartender,
“Pour me a stiff one, Sean. I just had another tiff with the little woman.”

“Oh yeah,” said Sean. “And how did this one end?”

“Well I’ll tell ya now when it was over,” Patick replied, “herself came 
to me on her hands and knees, she did.”

“You don’t say? Now that`s a switch! What did she say?” 

“She said, ‘Come out from under that bed, you gutless weasel!'”

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Irishman finds a Genie lamp and rubs it. Out comes the Genie and asks “Master you have released  me from the lamp and I grant you three wishes, what would you like” Irishman scratches his head,  then answers “A bottle of Guinness that never gets empty. “Granted master” retorted the Genie and  produced the bottle. The man was delighted and got drunk on this one magic Guiness bottle for weeks then he remembered that he had two other wishes. He rubbed the lamp again and the Genie appeared. “Yes master, you have two more wishes, what would you like?” “You know that magic, never ending Guinness bottle” he asks the Genies. “Well, for my final two wishes, I’d like another two of them”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover?

You don’t want to press your luck. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
St. Patrick’s Day Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Anagram: a word or phrase made by transposing the letters of another word or phrase.  

saint patrick day = adapt risky antics. 

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One woman says to the other,  “I married my man on St. Patrick’s Day.”

“Oh, really,” she politely replied. 

“No,” said the first.  “O’Reilly” 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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About Paul Wharton

I am a cradle Catholic, a native West Virginian, and a priest since April 24, 1982. Spiritual Direction has made a tremendous difference in my life and I encourage people to try it out. My motto is "Progress not perfection." I am grateful that God has done for me what I could not do for myself.
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2 Responses to Silly Saturday: Irish Humor on Saint Patrick’s Day

  1. Denise says:

    Thank you for the laughs!

  2. WORDS OF IRISH WISDOM

    A leprechaun once told me
    “the Irish have the luck,”
    so pretending I was Irish
    I acted like a kluck,
    waving four-leaf clovers,
    broguing in the green:
    “top o’ the morning” all over,
    the likes you’ve never seen.

    Then I asked the little fellow
    where I might find that pot of gold
    and he laughed so hard he bellowed,
    “That’s a legend that’s quite old.
    The only way to riches
    is work hard and persevere.
    There ain’t no other hitches.
    that’s what makes the gold appear.”

    Now he’s gone forever,
    but each year on Paddy’s Day,
    I chant in my endeavor
    to let magic come my way.
    The gold that I was seeking
    is an angel in my life:
    Of what lassie am I speaking?
    Why, begorra, she’s my wife!

    #
    (C) 2009 Salvatore Buttaci

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