Be Careful What for What You Ask — Two Silly Saturday Jokes

Early one morning, Jerome was walking along a beach.  In the sand he found a brass lamp.  He decided to rub the lamp and a beautiful genie appeared.  Jerome, being quite a bright lad, said “I have released you from your prison and you must grant me 3 wishes.”

The Genie said “That is true but my powers are rusty. You will have to come back tomorrow.”

Jerome replied “Oh, but I cannot wait till tomorrow, because I am a student and must take my finals exams then.”

The Genie responded, “Very well. I will write you 3 letters of acquaintance.
Give one to each of the wizards whose address I have written on the letters
and they will grant you a wish on my behalf.”

Off Jerome went. On the way he wondered what to wish for and thought about his exams tomorrow. He suspected what some of the exam questions might be and thought why not be sure I have the correct answers. So he decided to ask the Wizards to unravel some perplex mysteries for him.

To the first, he asked to know the secret of how Caramel puts the caramel in their bars. Poof . . . the Wizard sent him to the Chocolate Factory and he discovered how it was done.

To the second Wizard, he asked how toothpaste could come out like a candy cane . . . with the red stripe down it. Poof . . . the Wizard send him to the Toothpaste Factory and he now knew how it was done.

To the third Wizard (whom he woke up) . . . he asked how the pyramids were built. Poof . . . Jerome found himself in the Egyptian Desert working with thousands of other slaves.

[SOURCE: http://www.lol-jokes.com/]

A couple were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
After the meal, the husband presented his wife
with a beautiful very old gold antique locket on a chain.
Amazingly when his wife opened the locket, a tiny fairy appeared.

Addressing the astonished couple, the fairy said,
“Your forty years of devotion to each other has released me from this locket,
and in return I can now grant you both one wish each – anything you want..”

Without hesitating, the wife asked, “Please, can I travel
to the four corners of the world with my husband,
as happy and in love as we’ve always been?”

The fairy waved her wand with a flourish,
and magically there on the table were two first-class tickets
for a round-the-world 6 month cruise.

Staggered, the couple looked at each other, unable to believe their luck.

“Your turn,” said the fairy and the wife to the husband.

The husband thought for a few seconds,
and then said,  with a little guilt in his voice,
“Forgive me, but to really enjoy that holiday of a lifetime –
I yearn for a younger woman – so I wish that my wife
could be thirty years younger than me.”

Shocked, the fairy glanced at the wife, and
with a knowing look in her eye, waved her wand…..

…………..   and the husband became ninety-three.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Jesus said, “And I tell you,
ask and you will receive;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

What father among you would hand his son a snake
when he asks for a fish,
Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg?

If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will the Father in heaven give the holy Spirit

— Luke 11:9-13

[Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.]

[Funny Times is a humor magazine with cartoons and columnists that make you laugh, moan, scream and cry. They are kind enough to allow me to reprint the occasional cartoon.  Of course, humor — like beauty — is often in the eye or ear of the beholder.  http://www.funnytimes.com]

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About Paul Wharton

I am a cradle Catholic, a native West Virginian, and a priest since April 24, 1982. Spiritual Direction has made a tremendous difference in my life and I encourage people to try it out. My motto is "Progress not perfection." I am grateful that God has done for me what I could not do for myself.
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