The Lighter Side of New Year’s Resolutions

HUMOR: The Lighter Side of New Year’s Resolutions

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. 
— Mark Twain on  New Year’s Day: 

My New Year’s Resolutions

I will not throw the cat out the window
Or put a frog in my sister’s bed
I will not tie my brother’s shoelaces together
Nor jump from the roof of Dad’s shed
I shall remember my aunt’s next birthday
And tidy my room once a week
I’ll not moan at Mum’s cooking (Ugh! fish fingers again!) 
Nor give her any more of my cheek.
I will not pick my nose if I can help it
I shall fold up my clothes, comb my hair,
I will say please and thank you (even when I don’t mean it)
And never spit or shout or even swear.
I shall write each day in my diary
Try my hardest to be helpful at school
I shall help old ladies cross roads (even if they don’t want to)
And when others are rude I’ll stay cool.
I’ll go to bed with the owls and be up with the larks
And close every door behind me
I shall squeeze from the bottom of every toothpaste tube
And stay where trouble can’t find me. 
I shall start again, turn over a new leaf, 
leave my bad old ways forever
shall I start them this year, or next year
shall I sometime, or …..? 
Robert Fisher

[POEM  –  http://www.123newyear.com/newyear-poems/]
[ART –  Mchll19662008 on photobucket.co ]

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About Paul Wharton

I am a cradle Catholic, a native West Virginian, and a priest since April 24, 1982. Spiritual Direction has made a tremendous difference in my life and I encourage people to try it out. My motto is "Progress not perfection." I am grateful that God has done for me what I could not do for myself.
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One Response to The Lighter Side of New Year’s Resolutions

  1. I wrote an article about New Year’s Resolutions for the January issue of Front Porch Monthly. Free copies will be available at the Princeton Public Library beginning in January.

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