Better Broken: 11!  by Phil Ware 

“The Eleven” to be exact (Luke 24:9;  Luke 24:33;  Acts 1:26).

That’s how the apostles were known the seven weeks after Jesus’ death.
It was not a title of respect. Instead, it was a reminder.
More than a scar, this title was a gaping wound,
hemorrhaging memories of betrayal, denial, and abandonment.
“The Eleven” was most of all a reminder of Judas.

Judas was one of them. Judas had shared in their ministry,
their table fellowship, and the work of Jesus (Acts 1:16-17).
Judas had betrayed Jesus with a kiss (Luke 22:47-48).

If we are honest,
most of us have had our own personal Judas
— someone close to us, who knew us well
and knew how to hurt us deeply.
And they did hurt us deeply, leaving us broken,
devastated, and not sure we even wanted to go on living.
Then every time we turned around, there was a song,
a scene in a movie, a joke on TV, the voice of someone
who reminded us of the betrayal, and the hurt came flooding back.

Yes, we know what eleven means.
It means less than whole.
It means life with a hole.
It means the pain of trying to trust
and not knowing whom we can trust
and even less how we can trust.
It is the suffocating reality that seems inescapable.

It’s a powerful example of how we can move forward.
An old saying goes something like this:
“To live above with saints we love, now that will be glory.
But to live below with saints we know, ah, that’s another story.”
People are the most precious gifts in our lives, but
they can also break us in ways and in places that seem incurable.

That’s why it is so important that we see
what Jesus does with “The Eleven” before Pentecost happens.

He heals the wound.

And he does it with Peter: the one who also failed miserably
— the one who Jesus warned and then promised
would be used to help the others (Luke 22:31-32).
Yes, Jesus had confronted him on the beach after his resurrection
and called him back to ministry and restored him to leadership (John 21:1-17).

So Peter is the one whom the Lord uses
to lead his small band of followers
to do three things that are important
to help them overcome their “Judas hole” and restore “The Twelve”
so they can begin the work of building the unshakeable Kingdom.

First, they admit their hurt and tell their story,
not trying to avoid the truth that it was
one of them who had betrayed the Master (Acts 1:15-20).

Then, they open themselves up to others —
they invite another back into their number
to mend the hole left by Judas (Acts 1:21-23).

Most importantly,
they ask for God’s guidance and help to show them
how to move forward and who to include in their number (Acts 1:24-26).

Now this is not a formula, so let’s not reduce it to that.
However, it’s a powerful example of how
we can move forward in the face of deep, grievous,
and personal wounds and find our way to God’s powerfkul future.

Their example is also an important reminder that
we can be better after we’ve been broken if we allow God to do the mending.
God doesn’t want us to retreat from life or from church family
when we’ve been betrayed. Instead, he wants to heal us and remind us:
My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).


[“Better Broken: 11!” by Phil Ware is licensed under a Creative Commons License. Phil Ware is minister of the Word at Southern Hills Church in Abilene, Texas. For the past 10+ years, he has also been co-editor of HEARTLIGHT Magazine. Heartlight provides positive resources for daily Christian Living   LINK TO HEARTLIGHT]


About Paul Wharton

I am a cradle Catholic, a native West Virginian, and a priest since April 24, 1982. Spiritual Direction has made a tremendous difference in my life and I encourage people to try it out. My motto is "Progress not perfection." I am grateful that God has done for me what I could not do for myself.
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One Response to Better Broken: 11!  by Phil Ware 

  1. I lived my 11 for almost 15 years. There were those in my own family whose disloyalty had hurt me deeply, so I stopped communicating with them. I told myself I could not trust them, but I could live without them. It was my mother who reminded me how Jesus died for all of us, that he never demanded we pay a price or show our loyalty, and in his death forgave us all.

    My 11 was a burden. I finally came to realize I could not carry it and still profess to love Jesus. When I finally, with God’s help, released that burden, life became beautiful again. I could say The Our Father, say the lines “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” without feeling hypocritical or phony. Forgiving others helped me forgive myself of the sin of pride and to grow closer to Jesus.

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