When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
[SOURCE: http://www.alphadictionary.com/fun/pun.html]
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HEARTS ON FIRE 
From NPR’s Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me: The CIA agents have gotten so fat, I thought they were double agents.